Living The Dream.

I find it *so* ironic that as I sit down to write all about how wonderful my life is and how good my son is . . . . I am fighting with him to go down for a nap. lol! He is so sleepy . . . it's pitiful. Since Sunday it's been non-stop going . . . we had church on Sunday as well as my sister and I along with Kaleb went out for smoothies later in the day. Monday Kaleb and I went to go see my family and at the last minute we went over to my in-laws so Jason's Uncle could meet Kaleb. Tuesday was not one but two doctors visits and hanging out with one of my friends afterwards. And yesterday I went with Kaleb to go see the kids I use to Nanny. So for a 4month old that is way too much for only being half way through the week. (fyi I just won the fight for nap time <3 ) I am now looking forward to these next few days just me and my baby and getting him back on track with good naps and feeding times. :) He is a great baby he would make any Mommy proud. He eats good . . . sleeps great . . . and 99% of the time has the most laid back personality. He is such a dream come true to me. These extreme fussy moments are far and few between, but are to be expected when the schedule is so thrown off for so many days in a row and is constantly held, but this is a situation that is easily fixable. It may be a little bit loud for a while, but he will be back on track with in the next day or two. I wanted to be a Mom my entire life and it has finally happened and it's everything I thought it would be and more. And though my heart and head never wanted a 'boy'. . . I wouldn't trade my son for all the riches in the world! God has used my baby already in so many ways . . . not only in my own personal life to stretch the boundaries I had set around my heart, but also to touch the lives of others. I've seen it in peoples eyes. They walk into a room eyes down, a frown, and a harden heart. . . . and one smile from Kaleb and their shoulders go back and their face lights up and you see them change. Since having my baby I've had repeated infections. These infections have taken me to Drs who work out of Cancer Centers and Specialty Medicines. I take my son a long with me and he has touched the lives of so many people already. It's going to be such a blessing to see how God will use my son as he grows. Being a mom is the most stressfully-amazing job I could ever have and I know it's only going to get better!

<3

And Time Goes On

This is me and my 4 month old son. He is the light of my life and the joy in my heart. His name is Kaleb Jason and he was born Jan 24th at 3:54pm. He was 7 pounds 6oz and 20 inches long. My days are filled with laughter and unconditional love. Kaleb is now 4 months old 12 pounds 12 oz and 24 inches long. He surpasses all my hopes and dreams I have built up in my head over the past 22 years. There is something to be said for becoming a mom . . . it changes you in every way. Each day your heart grows bigger and your ability to love grows deeper. This is my son and I love him more than I could ever imagine.

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Baby Bump.

This was taken when I was 30 weeks. :) I love my baby bump!

Not good at this! lol.

lol! So as you can tell I am not good at keep up with blogs very well. I'm not 32 weeks pregnant and still super excited! :) I'm a walking time bomb! Thanks to 'From Apples to Zucchini' I am back on here! I had this overwhelming craving for Jalapeno Poppers and no idea where to get them late at night . . . . so as I am looking in my frige for something I see cream cheese and some green peppers . . . and I start google searching Green Pepper Poppers and I came across her amazing recipe . . I had to tweek to fit what I had here at home, but let me tell you . . the house smells fantastic and it was very easy to make! :D This pregnant lady is one happy camper let me tell you. I've had quite a few photo shoots which I am super proud of . . . but I've been mostly getting ready for the baby that's coming . . I'll post pictures of the nursery when I am done with it! Anyway . . I am going to hop off here and check on those poppers of mine!! :D

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218 Days And Counting

Today I am 2months and 1 week pregnant . . . . I have posted it everywhere but on here . . . so I figured why not!! Last night Jason and I went to see a mid-wife out in Ann Arbor . . . it was amazing. Friday we are going to a Birthing Center to go talk to them and get prices and stuff. We are very excited and this weekend we will choose where we will have the baby. :D


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Weekend Wedding

My sister-in-law got married this weekend . . . and I was blessed with the opportunity to be one of the Photographers at her Wedding. It was a crazy Month will all the Wedding activities . . . and racing the clock to make sure everything got done on time . . . I am looking forward to taking a break for a bit.

Over all I think this Wedding is some of my best work . . . I still get mad at blurry pictures . . . or pictures I forgot to get . . but it pictures like this one that I fall in love all over again with Photography!


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Somethings Are Meant To Be

As a kid I would love to lay under my Uncle's Cherry Tree . . . I loved it the most when it was the beginning of spring and all the little buds were out . . and the whole neighborhood smelled wonderful . . . and after a few weeks they would fall so gracefully from the tree to the ground . . . I would like to watch the clouds going back with the blossoms floating all over me. Childhood memories are amazing . . they are their to bring the innocence back . . . we were suppose to never have that taken away from us . . and this world strips that away from you and you are left feeling angry . . and hurt . . . you feel used . . and you don't trust . . . but sometimes taking a step back and just seeing the world through the eyes of a child is all it take to restore that purity.


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There Is Only One Way Up

I love listening to music . . . today I was listening to the song "Song For The Lonely" by Cher . . yes I said it . . Cher . . . who I thought my whole life was a guy singing until I was like 10 . . . but in the song . . I think it's turned the beginning . . she said "you're stand on the edge to no where and theres only one way up" . . . and thinking about it . . . everyone always thinks that sometimes your only option is to fail . . and with that mentality you will . . . but if you view life and you can only move upwards . . . you might actually surprise yourself. I love the saying . . "Don't tell me the skies the limit when there is foot steps on the moon" . . . . cause it's true . . you can always go farther than you think you can . . you can press in harder than before . . you can have more motivation and strength than you ever thought possible . . but it starts with you . . and your out look . . and how you view where you are . . and how you will get to where you need to be. It's up to us to be our own challenger . . . it's up to us to be out greatest opponent and beat ourself at our own game. It's all how you look at it . . how you view life will make your break you.


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Time To Shine

I always tell my husband leaving me home alone with my camera is a bad idea. . . because when I get bored I just start taking pictures. . . . I think these 3 sum up a lot of things about me. I am very proud not only of the fact I was the "model" and photographer, but that with doing both the pictures came out half was decent! lol.

I think it's about time I stop hiding and let the real me shine.

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One Step At A Time

Oh how I wish we could go through life floating on a cloud. Everything coming easy . . . no hardships or tough times. Sadly, life doesn't seem to be that way. Each day is something new to face and conquer. Another hurdle to clear one more mountain to face. And honestly . . . sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. To deal with the heart ache . . confusion . . . and water works, but then sometime that silver lining shows its self for just a second and all hope comes flooding back.

I have been in this place of building others up and letting my own self fall apart. I have let my walk with God go down hill so I could help others in their walk. Which is horrible.

Revelation 3:15-16

¹⁵I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

I pray I never turn lukewarm . . I don't want to be wishy-washy for God. I want to be on fire for Him. Only He can help me when things get tough . . only He and heal my heart . . my hurts . . the things that have let me down or failed me. I need a jump start . . a swift kick in the pants. . . . I think I am getting what I have been asking for.

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I'm Searching For The Better Part Of Me.

Sigh* this is the beginning of the TWW . . Two Week Wait. Seeing if all of our efforts and planning have been helpful. I look up on line what other people go through . . . and so many people have the same signs and here I am . . . with nothing. Or what they go through for the 'first time' I feel every time I start my lovely time of the month. It's just frustrating and annoying. I am praying that these next 2 weeks go by fast. . . . and that Jason and I will find out soon if we should be excited or wait another month and try again.

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Mr. & Mrs. Jones

The Wedding went amazing well . . the pictures turned out amazing! Congrats to Karen and Nick on their Wedding. The service was beautiful . . . they had everyone in tears. I am so thankful for the opportunity to Photograph their Wedding. :) It was an experience I will never forget!

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Upcoming Weekend Wedding

So this weekend my sister and I will be driving down to Ohio for me to do my first official Wedding. :) So I have been practising a few shots . . trying to make sure I do the best I possibly can. I am looking forward to spending the time with my sister and for the experience of doing the Wedding. I hope and pray the pictures turn out nice. I don't want to disappoint the Bride & Groom. This will not only show me if I have what it takes, but I truly believe it will show others around me I am serious about the work I do. I am very happy about this weekend . . . despite the ulcer growing in my stomach from stressing out. lol I think this is a good thing all around.


<3

Tea Time.

I need a weekend to relax . . . and be extremely care free.

Close To Home.

My husband and I have been together for the past 3 years . . . and have been married for 2 of them. We have come to an agreement that it is time to start a family. So next month we are going to officially start 'trying' to bring a new life into this world. I don't know which is scarier becoming a mom . . . or having a child in this mess we call a world. But the more we pray the more we feel God is saying everything going to be ok. . . and thats what we are going by. I believe being a Nanny has helped me peek into the life of motherhood, but nothing will prepare you for what will take place bringing that helpless baby home. I have mixed feelings about labor, sleepless nights, sore body parts, crying, teething, blow out diapers. . . and all the other stuff that comes with child raising. . . . but all of the bad things don't weight out all the amazing things I look forward too holding MY baby, their first smile . . first step, first word, talking to them about their day, playing games with them, loving them . . taking care of them . . all of that and more melts my heart. I can't wait . . the good . . the bad . . the ugly . . the pain and tears . . . happiness and smiles. . . all of it . . . I am looking forward to this next phase in my life.

<3

Don't Look Back

This is a picture of me and my friend Amber. . . I love her dearly . . . We have known each other for the past 3 years . . . She has been one of the few people who has supported everything I have done. We are both brutally honest people . . . and you would think it would break a friendship . . . if anything it shows us that we can really count on each other. :) My latest thing is trying to lose weight. . . I want to be healthy again . . . my goal right now . . is to just get under 200 . . . I don't want to crash diet . . . I want to lose the weight and have it stay gone . . . that would be amazing. . . and with such a supportive friend I know that it will be possible.

So Amber . . . thanks for being a friend to me . . . when it seemed like no one else understood. For making time to listen to me complain and for always having the right words to say.

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Penny For Your Thoughts

Over the past couple weeks my Husband and I noticed our fun loving hyper-active cat acting funny . . . getting sick a lot . . . walking two feet and laying down. We eliminated all of the problems we thought it could have been. . .the new food . . . old drippy faucet . . . Christmas tree . . .etc . . Jason and I had company over and everyone was saying Riley looked sad . . . and was acting weird . . then I knew it wasn't just me being over protective . . something was wrong . . so I took Riley to the vet . . Thank God my sister came with me. We found out that my darling kitty thought that eating a penny would be good for him . . . . little did he know the copper was slowly starting to kill him . . . and that he would have to get sent to the Vet. Hospital to have an emergency surgery done to remove the not so yummy snack my baby ate. . . who knew a penny would cost 1,200. Please be praying that when he comes home he does not rip out the stitches . . . and that everything stays in place so he doesn't have to go back into surgery. . . . and that he will not eat any more pennies!!

<3

Family And The Holidays

Spending time with the family is much a big part of the Holiday season . . . going over to peoples houses . . . friends coming over to your house . . . it's all about sharing these memorable moments with the people you love. Yet we also know the holidays for the drama it brings . . . grumpy shoppers . . . fruit cakes . . . . family you don't want to see . . . over spending . . etc.

It's interesting being in the middle . . where you are super excited yet you want it all to go away so life can return to normal. Thanksgiving this year was one for the books . . my husband and I just bought our first house . . and invited both sides of the family over to share in the amazing blessing God has given us this year . . which we are so thankful for. . . . well only my family came to our amazing two turkey dinner with stuffing-gravy-and-all-the-fixins . . . After dinner we visited the other side of the family and came home upset and sad. It wouldn't be a true blue holiday without drama would it? Nothing says "we are happy to have you here" like a rude in your face talking to about blowing off the family for another Holiday when you are standing in their kitchen . . . on said blown off holiday. I am praying Christmas will be different. . . . my heart is heavy . . . . I love both sides of my family . . . but how do you show love to a side that hurts you because it seems they didn't get their way?

Christmas is 5 days away . . . I can't wait to see my husbands face when he opens his gifts. . . . What makes me most excited is when we have kids . . how they will react to Christmas . . . and the Holiday season. I hope I am able to instill in my kids the true meaning of Christmas . . . to give from the heart and not out of obligation . . . and how to enjoy every moment even if you are not happy.

I pray that every one's Holiday will be filled with joy and laughter . . . and there will be no heavy hearts . . . no sadness . . . and no drama.

<3

Wandering Mind

I hate the days you can't think straight. Your mind has 4 million check lists . . 2 million to do lists . . and a pile of things that have to be done. Yet you sit there on overload before you even started doing anything. That has how my brain feels lately . . . completely swamped with everything . . . I need time to clear my head before Christmas comes . . . There have been many events that have happened . . good, bad, and ugly. . . . from family drama to buying a house . . . it's been an emotional roller coaster . . one I have been on too many times before. I am taking my friends to the airport today . . then meeting a friend for a late lunch . . . . and coming home wrapping presents . . . and then nothing . . sweet sweet nothing.

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Christmas Is In The Air

For me Christmas is one of the most exciting times of the year . . . I get to go out and shop . . and give people gifts that I know they will love. Christmas is about the birth of our loving Savior and about having an open and loving heart. To me what makes the perfect Christmas is fresh snow crunching under my feet . . . seeing the look on my families faces when they open their gifts . . . singing down the 12 days of Christmas . . . and drinking hot chocolate while carols are playing. Something magical happens around this time of year . . I wish everyone would be this happy and giving all year round. It's something to strive for . . .

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